The Tavern at the End of the World

Ladies and Gentlemen,

ALBERT POLK, mastermind of POLK RECORDs and his band STREIGHTANGULAR, will be playing tunes of an early-to-late 90s dance persuasion from 10PM until around 1AM tonight.

Set list including but not limited to:

Ace of Base.

Spice Girls

Sneakerpimps

OMC

That ‘No diggity’ song.

Warren G.

Among others. See you there.

Chile and Switzerland are set to face off at 10AM, followed by Spain vs. Honduras at 2:30PM.

The Brit’s Picks: Stevie likes Chile over Switzerland, but it’s the afternoon game where the real murder will take place. Spain will simply wipe the pitch with Honduras.

Today’s games are Italy vs. New Zealand at 10:00AM and Brazil vs. the Ivory Coast at 2:30PM.

The Brit’s Picks: Though he’s known in certain South Boston circles (bars, mostly) as Stevie the Prod (as in Protestant) he nevertheless cites the Catholics’ total superiority over New Zealand. And the Ivory Coast simply doesn’t stand a chance against Brazil.

The 19th day of June in this foul year of our lord will feature Ghana vs. Australia at 10AM and Cameroon vs. Denmark in the 2:30PM afternoon match.

The Brit’s Picks: The Aussies will dispatch Ghana, mostly because Australia itself is a continent while Ghana is merely a country. In the afternoon, Denmark beats Cameroon 1-0.

The Americans take on Slovenia at 10AM and in the afternoon the Brits contest the Algerians at 2:30PM.

The Brit’s Picks: Obama’s Babies will trounce the Slovenians. And the Queen’s Feet will surely outplay the Algerians. End of story.

At the 10AM start we’re showing Greece vs. Nigeria followed by France vs. Mexico at 2:30PM.

The Brit’s Picks: Stevie likes Nigeria over Greece, citing the latter’s economic collapse and social upheaval, though he admits that if the Gods and Goddesses of ancient Greece interfere it’s anyone’s game. The Mexicans will surely dispatch the French in a dignified fashion.

At 10AM you should drop by, have some brunch, and watch Spain vs. Switzerland, at which point you should start drinking vodka martinis to watch South Africa face Uruguay at 2:30, at which point you should continue drinking until close and then come back the following morning at 10AM for the cure and Greece vs. Nigeria. Seriously.

The Brit’s Picks: Spain is a tournament favorite, and the Swiss aren’t going to be able to buy their way out of the Barcelona attack. Hometown favorites South Africa should push past Paraguay, but that one is really anyone’s guess.

At 10AM we’ve got tournament favorites Brazil vs. the Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea at 10AM, and the Ivory Coast vs. Portugal at 2:30PM.

The Brit’s Picks: “This one’s easy,” Stevie explains, taking a sip of Heineken. “Which would you rather? The dull, constant threat of Nuclear annihilation? or Samba music? I pick Samba.” Portugal over the Ivory Coast is a no-brainer.

Today we’ve got Japan vs. Cameroon on the television device beginning at 10AM and at 2:30 the infamous match-fixers and surrenderers take on the Paraguayans at 2:30.

The Brit’s Picks: Cameroon over Japan in the first match, citing his preference for the ghost of Mobido Adama, who will likely be hovering over the pitch. He figures he might as well pick the former world champions over Paraguay, though none of us are happy to admit it. Anyone got a Zidane jersey I can borrow?

Today’s games are Serbia vs. Ghana at 10AM and Germany vs. Australia at the 2:30 start.

The Brit’s Picks: Stevie likes Serbia over Ghana, because, well, because, well… he had to pick one of them. More exciting is the prospect of seeing the methodical Germans overcome those that descended from criminals.